I've been meaning to write, but have been struggling with the words. Sorry this is a bit late. We shared this news with the family a few weeks ago, but for the rest of the Foundation's friends...
Angie and I had been trying to have a baby for a long time. Almost a year. Our marriage and our careers and our life together had reached a place where we felt really ready. But no luck. We tried month after month, but with no success. So of course, we went through all the doctor's appointments and tests and "procedures" and etc... that couples try. But still no luck. We started thinking about more and more procedures and maybe adoption.
Then October, Angie and I spent a brief respite in Kyoto and Tokyo for the Chinese national holiday, before everything happened. When we came back, we were fortunate enough to get in a few phone calls with Dad. Just the usual stuff, checking in. He asked about our trip and our jobs. He didn't ask about the grandkids he was so excited to one day see.
I remember one time earlier this year, when in the garble of transpacific calling, Mom and Dad thought we had really big news to share. I could hear the smiles on both their faces as they thought we were going to tell them we were pregnant. Unfortunately, we had to tell them we weren't. But we told them we were planning on it, and that we hoped to share the news soon. I think they were both excited to know that it was coming soon and not to hear the usual deflections we might have given before we were ready.
And then the accident happened. And we never got to have that call with Dad.
But a couple of weeks ago, we got to have that call with Mom.
Somehow, despite the emotional rollercoaster we were on, we got pregnant. We found out when we were back in the States to say goodbye to Dad and help Mom. Angie was late in Michigan and felt a bit off in California, so we did a home test. That feeling of joy and relief after so much sadness and worry that week is impossible to describe. And Angie and I had to hold that feeling inside until we could safely share it with everyone this month.
Doing the math, it seems we got pregnant in Japan, but we both could swear that Dad must've put in a good word for us, and that despite not being here to share in all the joys to come, he was giving us one last gift.
But in a real sense, the baby will be a part of Dad, not just a gift from him. Through us, the baby will know Dad. And we'll try to share the love that Dad brought into this world with the newest member of the family. It's the least we can do. The baby couldn't be, our love, our family, our lives couldn't be, without him.